Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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