the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
