the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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