There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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