We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
