Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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