I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
