I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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