the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize