i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
