Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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