you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Barsexuality is the new black.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
