they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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