So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Every concussion has its silver lining
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
They took my balls.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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