I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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