I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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