Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
