the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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