Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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