Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
