it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
