How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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