Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
