i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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