What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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