I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize