I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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