He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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