Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
