not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
