So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
