Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize