I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she told me i tasted like america
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
