David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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