dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize