i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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