Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
