Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
