Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
