It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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