yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
