i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
