I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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