News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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