I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
