Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
im on a boat
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