I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
