I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
