Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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