I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
