Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
