Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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