I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
