I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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