How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
