i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
