I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
