i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
