just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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