if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I am spending my child support on dildos
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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