she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I smell like Dick and happiness
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