Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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